For as long as I can remember I have been tall. I have always heard the average height of a woman is 5’4″ and I got 6″ on all of those average people. But regardless of my height I still use a stool pretty often. We have a few of them around the house but this one is my favorite. It makes me about a foot taller which helps me reach pretty much everything in our house.
Things That Are Awesome About Being Tall
Standing Up – When you are sitting down your height is hidden, people unknowingly assume that you are one of them. Then, as you start to get up…. the heads turn and all of a sudden you become the most memorable person in the room. It is such an amazing feeling.
Concerts – General admission is almost as good as front row as we can see over everyone. Also, when tall people look around the crowd we see other tall people. In addition, we also act as the gatekeepers to a good view. If someone is really rubbing us the wrong way we can slip in front of them and ruin their evening. Hahahaha!
Bar Stools – Most people climb up on a bar stool as if they were still kids. When I see them sitting there with their dangling feet I feel a little bit sorry for their height. When tall people sit on bar stools we sit with excellent posture as our feet touch the ground.
Sports Respect – When you`re tall, everyone automatically assumes that you`re an awesome athlete. This is because they assume your long legs equal great speed. Little do people know that most of us tall people are incredibly slow. We don`t care about winning at sports because we already won when we were born. Nevertheless, it is true that some sports are naturally easier for tall people, like volleyball, height measuring, and throne sitting.
Tall Boyfriends – Nothing is cooler than being tall and having an even taller boyfriend. I love the fact that I have to stand on my tippy toes to kiss mine.
General Usefulness – How often do you hear someone say, “Hey, Freddie, we need to use your height for a second, you’re the only one small enough to…” Tall people are generally more useful because we have greater access to higher places. And if it is just a little bit higher than I thought I simply grab my stool! I remember my mom use to say “Hey Rose, your nice and tall” and then ask me to grab something for her that was up high.
There are many perks to being tall but there are also things that suck about it.
Things That Suck About Being Tall
Water Fountains – I’m not just talking about children fountains like at Lily’s school, I’m talking about all of the water fountain in all of the world. When I go out into public no matter how thirsty I am you will not find me at a water fountain slurping up the water.
Buying Clothes – It takes a long time to find something that fits right, and all of the retail clerks LIE about clothing shrinking in the wash. Even more annoying, the size “large” is meant for both the vertically large and horizontally large. This means I usually have shirts that fit well in width, but are too short.
The phrase, “you’re so/too tall.” – This is something that most of you won’t understand because you just have to live the experience. What the hell does that even mean? Are you critiquing me? Are you complimenting me? Are you warning me about some impending danger? There is no reason for this statement, and like all unreasonable things, there is no reasonable response that doesn’t make you sound like a turd. My best response so far was “Why thank you, yes it is an important part of my life.”
Public Bathrooms – From personal experience, public bathroom stall doors are on average 5.5 feet tall. Forget privacy. When you’re tall you get used to purposely looking away as you walk into the stall. If I wanted to see the person in the stall next to me… most of the time I probably could.
Shower Heads – Who thought that something so relaxing could be such a pain? Anytime I have toured a home to live in the shower head position is a make or break issue. You can tell just by looking at it that if you walk into the shower the water is going to be hitting your belly button. So then you will raise it and it will be shooting upwards directly up your nose. So then you squat over, and well, let’s just leave it there.
And one final thought. You NEVER ever ever hear someone say “I wish I was shorter”.